Amor Vincit Omnia
by Sinopa
Summary: Remus & Tonks, relationship End of OotPEnd of HBP. Featuring songs such as Iris Goo Goo Dolls, Volcanoes Damien Rice, and Sooner or Later Breaking Benjamin. Rated M for Adult Situations.
1. I Don't Want the World to See Me

Amor Vincit Omnia

**Summery**: Based on Lupin and Tonk's relationship, starting with the end of OotP, and leading to the argument they have in the Hospital Wing at the end of HBP.

**Disclaimer:** I do not, nor will I ever own anything from the Harry Potter Series…except for in my dreams, maybe.

**Chapter Song:**

_Iris, Goo Goo Dolls_

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

'_Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_And sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

_And I don't want the world to see me_

'_Cause I don't think that they'll understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming _

_Or the moment of truth in your lies_

_When everything feels like the movies_

_And you bleed just to know your alive_

_And I don't want the world to see me_

'_Cause I don't think that they'll understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_Repeat x2_

_I just want you to know who I am x3_

**_Chapter One: Don't Want the World to See Me_**

Tonks blinked rapidly, her eyes were not accustomed to the bright white lights hovering above her, and her head hurt rather fiercely.

_Sirius_

She remembered what had happened. Was that just last night? Two nights ago? A week? Where was she? Thoughts swam in her head, causing the slight throb she had awoken with to pound.

"Good to see you up Miss Tonks, you took a rather nasty hit to your head. All heroes, the lot of you." A healer with tight black curls entered her room. "I imagine your friend told you what happened, that poor Sirius Black, innocent all these years. Oh dear, I almost forgot, a nice young man is here to break you out, love." The witch smiled and gave a wink, "not a bad looking one, looks like he could use some relaxation."

Tonks was confused, but only momentarily as Remus stepped into the room, his smile was a small one, and looked as sad as she felt. She attempted to return it, but she felt as if the corners of her mouth were a trick lever for more tears. Molly had come into her room in St. Mungo's and told her everything that had happened after she had fallen. It seemed as if it had all happened so long ago.

"Feeling better, Nymphadora?" Remus hesitated for a moment before entering the room. Molly was supposed to have been picking Tonks up, but she had backed out at the last second asking Remus to go in her place with a smile and twinkle in her eyes that Remus hadn't quite understood, or trusted.

Tonks' hair was down around her face, brown and looked as though it would curl if she hadn't been sleeping and waking alternatively for a week straight. Her eyes were still dark, the same colour as when her hair was bubble gum pink- though Remus noticed they were slightly less bright, more weary and broken. Sirius' death had come as a shock to her, as much as it had come to a shock to all of the order- except for perhaps Severus.

"I'd like to go to Grimmauld Place Remus." Tonks stood from the bed; she had on a bright purple jumper over her hospital gown. Her body was sore, bruised at her shoulders, arms, legs… though the colour had faded from black and purple to yellows and green, and the lump on her head wasn't nearly as swollen as it had felt the first time she had awoken.

Remus looked away awkwardly. "I'll wait for you in the hallway then." He gave a friendly smile to the young healer that had been looking over Tonks, and stepped out.

"He's much too young for all that grey hair, surely." The woman said, stepping out as well and leaving Tonks to pull on a comfortable but plenty torn pair of jeans, and her favorite black robes. She looked in the little mirror in the adjoining bathroom and grimaced, squinting her eyes she concentrated on her pink hair…There she was, she almost recognized the girl in the mirror now.

Remus had waited patiently in the hall, just as he had promised. The sweater Molly had made him for Christmas was still in good shape, and dark blue. Tonks was vaguely aware that he looked nice in it, quite nice really, before he started talking to her.

"The Daily Prophet is extremely interested in what happened at the Ministry last week. Ministry workers are sworn to secrecy, but I imagine they'll be badgering you for information since it's well known you were injured there that night." Remus wouldn't look at her; he looked straight ahead towards the exit.

"Nymphadora Tonks!" A voice called out just as they hit the main floor. "Nymphadora, what happened to you the night He-who-must-not-be-named attacked the Ministry?"

"Do you agree with the statement that The Dark Lord is back and ready to attack?" Another voice.

"Is Harry Potter truly the 'Chosen One'?" A third voice this time.

Remus stuck his hand in hers led her through Mungo's to the outer streets, a careless gesture but one she appreciated more than she could say. She needed that hand around her own more than she had even known.

"We can take the Knight Bus, if you're up to it." Remus still wouldn't look at her, but his hand remained firmly around her own.

"I'm up to it." She couldn't understand why, but right then she felt like laughing, a snort escaped the prison of her mouth, and a grin cracked over her face. She hated the Knight Bus, he was as clumsy as she was. That made her laugh again.

The bus squealed to a stop in front of them, none of the Muggles seemed to notice the large bus squeezed between two parked cars. A pimple faced young man looked down at them, hurrying them onto the bus in quick demands. Tonks managed to trip only once on the second step, and Lupin's warm hands caught her about her waist putting her back to rights.

She tried to ignore the pleasant feeling this brought, just as he behind her tried to ignore it as well.

She was a Friend, he told himself. She was supposed to be like a little sister, he scoffed at that one. He didn't feel like she was a little sister at all. Kreacher was more of a little sister.

"You're going to have to-" Lupin's voice cut off as the bus started again in a great lurch. "You're going to have to move your things out of the house by the end of the week. Dumbledore is afraid it's been passed down to Bellatrix, though Sirius expressed very clearly in his…will, that it was to go to Harry." Lupin looked pained as he talked of Sirius. Tonk's wanted to reach out and grip his hand, to feel the contact of someone that knew what she was going through, but she kept her hands gripped tightly in her lap, and Remus seemed a little uncomfortable as well.

They stumbled off the bus at the intersection for Grimmauld Place, both feeling more than a little queasy (they had watched as a middle aged woman had vomited all over her seat when the Knight Bus took three consecutive sharp turns.)

"The full moon is next weekend isn't it?' Tonks wanted to talk, about anything but falling when she should have killed Bellatrix, and getting Sirius killed in the process; but she realized the mistake of subjects as Remus stiffened next to her. "Merlin, I'm sorry Remus, I place full blame on the head injury. I know it's a sore spot for you, I wasn't thinking."

"I've come to terms with it." He looked over at her for the first times since she had stepped out of the hospital bed, "Yes, the full moon's next weekend."

The two had spent as much time as they could spare at the head-quarters for the Order, fully aware that Sirius would go mad with cabin fever if left alone in the old house for to long. He had always been the wild one that needed to run and spread his wings hence the flying motorcycle, while James had been content with Lily and his friends, and Remus had always enjoyed spending time alone with his books in front of a fire. Peter…Remus would rather not think about Peter. Remus watched Tonks' expression from the corner of his eye. He had been attracted to her carefree nature before Sirius had died; the three of them would share a mug of spiced tea, or fire-whiskey and tell stories of their childhoods, odd occurrences, things that would put Sirius in good spirits and allow him to forget about his prison for just a night, and now his feelings for the girl had increased to a point that made him feel guilty, and not unlike a perverted old man.

Number 12 loomed in front of them. Tonks looked at the house in apprehension, but ground her teeth once before walking towards it with a determined stride. She managed not to trip over the umbrella stand, and didn't slip on the puddle of water the rain had caused to pool in front of the door. The portrait didn't start screaming out profanities, Tonks didn't imagine she could take it if Mrs. Black had started screaming today. She walked straight up to her bedroom; Molly must not have given up on cleaning the head-quarters because there wasn't a speck of dust in the week long vacated room. The picture on Tonks' bedside laughed and winked up at her, Sirius had his charming grin plastered over his face and an empty bottle of fire-whiskey in his hand (it had been his third, she remembered), She had been laughing madly had an old story Sirius had been telling about Remus, and Remus looked a mixture of amusement and embarrassment.

Tonks curled up on her bed, and cried for the first time since she had been told. If she could have taken down one bloody death eater, if she could have just taken out Bellatrix, Sirius, Remus and herself would likely be down stairs celebrating. Laughing, and trading stories.

She ignored the knock on her door.

"Nymphadora?" It was Remus. Come to calm her most likely. She wanted none of it. Not right now, she just wanted to be alone with her picture and her memories, and heal.

"For God's sake, it Tonks, Remus, Tonks." She must have told him a hundred times, yet she still liked the sound of it coming from him. Nymph seemed to separate from 'adora' when he said it, yet it flowed together.

The door creaked open, "I brought some food up. I thought you might be hungry." He saw the bright swollen eyes and registered she had been crying.

It was as if he was in a dream, because he was sitting on the edge of her bed, the food tray pushed aside and her face was in his hands.

Her eyes caught his, she wanted this. Then his lips were on her own and they were both sighing.


	2. Volcanoes

Amor Vincit Omnia

**Chapter Song:**

_Volcanoes, Damien Rice_

Female voice in Italics,

Male voice not in Italics.

Don't hold yourself like that

You'll hurt your knees

I kissed your mouth and back

But that's all I need

Don't build your world around

volcanoes melt you down

What I am to you is not real

What I am to you you do not need

What I am to you is not what you mean to me

You give me miles and miles of mountains

And I'll ask for the sea

_Don't throw yourself like that_

_In front of me_

_I kissed your mouth your back_

_Is that all you need?_

_Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down_

_What I am to you is not real_

_What I am to you you do not need_

_What I am to you is not what you mean to me_

_You give me miles and miles of mountains_

_And I'll ask for _

what I give to you

Is just what i'm going through

This is nothing new

No no just another phase of finding what I really need

Is what makes me bleed

And like a new disease

she's still too young to treat

Bridge

What I am to you is not real

What I am to you, you do not need

_Volcanoes melt me down_

She's still too young

I kissed your mouth

_I kissed your mouth_

You do not need me

**Chapter Two: Volcanoes**

_Her eyes caught his, she wanted this. Then his lips were on hers and they were both sighing_

Remus didn't give pause to think about what he was doing; his hand had climbed to cradle the back of her neck, her hands moved to his face. She traced her thumb along one of his scars without removing her lips from his own.

He tried to think rationally, he pulled away from her, body quivering and hands dropping from her body; her own hands, however, pulled him back before he could utter his apology and her mouth was open on his and he was drowning in her sighs. Her mouth opened for his tongue when he nipped at her lower lip, his hand had left her neck to slide down her slide, palms brushing the sides of her breast, until they found the bottom hem of her jumper and the smooth skin beneath.

She leaned back against the bed, the food forgotten and falling off the bed to the wood floor, and she pulled him to her by the collar of his jumper, the dark blue one she had thought so handsome on him earlier she now wanted off of him. He balanced his weight above her with one arm stretched out next to her head; the other was resting right above her hip and tracing circles around with a thumb.

He kissed his way to her neck, nuzzling the tender skin that joined neck to shoulder. Her hands were restless over his body, running down his chest to his own jumper and gripping it's ends, pulling it up over his head to see bare chest. The jumper fell forgotten from her hands as she studied his body, a thick scar covered his shoulder, one ran down the length of his chest, small ones littered his back. He stiffened when she looked up at him in amazement.

"Sirius and James had a hell of a time controlling me; they had their share as well." He answered her voiceless question quietly, unmoving. She moved her mouth to his shoulder, kissing the puckered skin, moving down his chest as he hissed in a breath. Her fingers sought out the scars on his back, following their pattern with gentle strokes and pressures. This was a mistake, Remus' conscience buzzed at him, she'll regret this. And he told his conscience to buggar off.

He sought out her lips once again, left hand in her hair, right hand moving up her abdomen to her chest.

"Remus? Tonks?" A voice called from downstairs, not Moody's thank the gods, but Molly's.

Remus and Tonks split apart like two teenagers. The bed was ruffled, food was crushed about the floor, and Remus found his jumper shoved between the bed and wall behind it. He didn't meet Tonks' gaze as he slipped it over his head. She touched his shoulder tenderly.

"Remus?" She questioned.

"I apologize Tonks. I shouldn't have…" His voice trailed off at the knock on the door.

"Are you two in there? I've been hoping to welcome her back. Fuss over her." Molly walked into the room, her red hair it's usual mess that was charming on her, and her hands wiping themselves on her apron. Remus had an inkling that Molly had a good idea about what had just been going on as her cheeks were tinged pink. Remus wanted to die and go to hell were he belonged.

"I was just leaving"-"He was just bringing me something to eat." Tonks and Remus both attempted to explain.

"Yes, well, little good it does you darling for the food to end up on the floor. Come downstairs and eat proper. Need to get back to life dear." Molly grinned and left the two alone to busy herself down in the kitchen, humming with new found gossip she couldn't wait to share with her husband.

"I really should go. I imagine Dumbledore is going to want to know that we made it here safe." Remus straightened his jumper, looking away at the window as though there were some interesting bird outside he should be examining.

"Remus, I think we should talk. Really…About what we just did. I know what your thinking, that I'm to young. But I'm adult, and plenty old enough to do what I feel is right." Tonks tilted her head.

"Nymphadora, you have no bloody idea what I'm thinking. If you did, you would not be standing there trying to have a civil conversation with me." Remus finally looked to her face. "I'll be in touch. Tell Molly I'm sorry I couldn't stay for dinner. Pressing appointment." He stopped. "I really am sorry, Nymphadora, truly." And he left with a loud 'pop'.

Tonks shook her head and wondered where it had all come from. She had never thought of Remus romantically…Had she? She tried to think back to when she would stay with him and Sirius, drinking and sharing tales.

Yes. Perhaps she had. How foolish she had been not to notice it. From either of them. How foolish she had been not to notice the subtle hints from Sirius and how Remus would send him a icy glare of annoyance after.

He would think she was to young. She knew that much. He was such a gentleman. Always calm, always careful. Controlling himself and his movements.

She imagined she had scared him off. Or he had scared himself off. It would be tough work to coax him back and to make him believe she could handle whatever it was he was thinking. Even if it wouldn't mean a civil conversation, it would at least be interesting.

She smiled as she went to leave her room, glancing once more back at the picture of Sirius on her bedside table. How short and horrible life could be. She was going to learn a lesson from it, she swore, she was going to live.

"Remus, I understand you're grieving currently. We all are." Dumbledore looked to his old student, old employee, current Order member, the least human man Dumbledore had ever met, and not because of the inner wolf, but because Remus Lupin was all in all a true, and loyal person where most humans tended to betray to help themselves.

"I need a favor from you. Harry has a bit more of school. I would like you to stay here, in secret if you would be so kind, and watch him. He, I think, is grieving more than any of us."

Remus agreed to stay at the school and watch Harry without allowing Harry, under any circumstances but extreme emergency, to know he was being watched. Moody would have been Dumbledore's first choice, he was told, but he had a more pressing job for the man with the magic eye.

Now, Remus was just questioning his reasoning behind staying at the school.


	3. Sooner or Later

Amor Vincit Omnia

**Chapter Song:**

_Sooner or Later, _by Breaking Benjamin

_I want a normal life  
just like a new born child  
I am a lover hater  
I am an instigator  
You are an oversight  
Don't try to compromise  
I'll learn to love to hate it  
I am not integrated_

Pre-Chorus  
Just call my name  
You'll be okay  
You're scream is crawling through my veins

Sooner or later your gonna hate it  
Go ahead and throw your (my) (our) life away  
Driving me under, leaving me out there  
Go ahead and throw your (my) (our) life away

You're like an inch in time  
You are open wide  
You see them try to play me  
Just like you see on tv  
I am an oversight  
Just like a parasite  
Why am I so pathetic  
I know you won't forget it

pre-chorus

_chorus_

**Chapter Three: Sooner or Later**

He had managed to stay away from Tonks through to the end of the school year, apart from small eye catches at the Order Meetings. All this hard work would be tried though now that the lot of them had been sent to see Harry off the express.

Remus removed his reading spectacles and pressed the pulp of his palm to the bridge of his nose where he knew a fine headache was beginning to form, moving up towards his temples.

He spared a last glance at his watch before rising and pulling his overcoat over his jumper. Moody would, no doubt, be quiet early. And Remus was not disappointed, he was however overly nervous when he saw that Tonks had indeed come with Moody and the Weasleys to retrieve him before heading to the station.

"Hello Remus dear." Mrs. Weasley said cheerfully.

"You look as though you're feeling well." Tonks added, she would not look at him, as he had been watching for her reaction.

"We haven't all the time in the world you know." Moody growled, his eye swiveling in place. "Talk later."

The wait at the station would have been unbearable if Remus had not wanted dearly to see Harry and give him comfort. Tonks' talked with Mrs. Weasley in a lively voice; her pink hair reflecting the harsh lights of the station, and her _Weird Sisters_ shirt were gathering some attention from muggle men that Remus (though he told him self it was none of his concern) disliked immensely. Thus he had turned his attention to Moody and Mr. Weasley in an attempt to keep his mind away from such temptations.

"Remus, I'd like a word with you in private…Please." Tonks' hand was on his shoulder, hesitant and persistent all at once. One of the many traits that had drawn him to her. A 'crush' as the teenagers referred to it. That was all, he could get over it simply but ignoring it and acting as though he didn't have such feelings. It had helped him survive high school.

"Yes, alright." Remus excused himself from the conversation and followed Tonks over to a ceiling support.

"You've been avoiding me Remus." Tonks fingered the hem of her shirt, but didn't take her angry eyes from Remus'.

"That's mad. I would never avoid you Nymphadora."

"You haven't once looked me in the eye since I showed up with Moody and the Weasleys. You haven't once tried to contact me since-"

"Since I made a dreadful mistake that I apologized for, Nymphadora." Tonks' eyes snapped up at this, and Remus realized he had made another quite obvious mistake. "I don't mean that in any offense to you, of course. It was wretched on my part, and I take full responsibility. You were grieving and I took advantage of you."

"That's bollucks Remus. Bollucks, and you damn well know it." Tonks felt nothing short of fury at this point. "You took advantage of me did you? You want to take full responsibility. I refuse to let you. That's disrespect to me Remus. It is, and I won't have it. I was a fully willing partner in that 'dreadful mistake'" Tonks took a breath, "I _was _grieving, I was grieving because I lost him twice damn it, and the second time I could have changed it if I'd been just a little faster, just a little more sure, just a little bit more heartless; but I can't change it now, and I can't get him back. You made _a dreadful mistake,_" she scoffed, "it was lovely, and if you wont accept that Remus, I _refuse_ to grieve for you and what your throwing away for the both of us."

_Now_, she thought, _all I have to do is get away before these damn tears start flowing. _

Lupin's face was pale when Harry and the others came through the portal due to his exchange with Tonks. He picked at the fraying edge of his jumper sleeve.

The exchange with the Dursleys did brighten his mood slightly, however his thoughts still circled around the almost one-sided exchange with Tonks.

_It would never work Remus, you know what you are. You would only end up hurting her._ Remus turned down the ride with Moody and the Weasleys. Tonks gave them all a wave and Mrs. Weasley a hug before a _pop _sent her off to the Ministry for work. _You're a monster, Remus,_ he told himself.

Remus sent an owl to Dumbledore to tell him that Harry had made it to the Dursley family safe; even though he was sure Moody would have sent him the message already. It was getting quite late at this point and Remus had just enough money in his pocket to buy him self dinner and a pint at the Three Broomsticks.

The fog was thick and damp when Remus pushed his way through the doors to the Three Broomsticks and the crowd inside to an empty table by the fire. He was slightly surprised at the chill in the night air for the summer month.

He was even more surprised at the person who took the chair across the table from him.

"Nymphadora." He acknowledged. "How was work."

"It was work. Remus, I wanted to apologize for yelling at you today- that's not how I had pictured the conversation in my head." The waitress came over a placed a pint in front of Tonks and Remus' fish and chips in front of him.

"Can I get you anything else Miss?" The waitress rubbed her hangs on her thighs and moved her tray from hand to hang in impatience.

"I don't mean to intrude." Tonks looked to Remus; he lifted his hand barely and smiled to show that he didn't mind, so she ordered.

"I should be apologizing to you for calling it a mistake. I should have been more careful with my words." Remus lifted the pint to his mouth, watching the flit of anger on Tonks' face.

"Remus, you have to understand that it wasn't any sort of mistake on either part. I don't place any blame on you, not because of any warped reason, and especially not because of what you are or how old you are. I care about you Remus, I didn't realize it until then, but I do." Tonks left her drink untouched.

"What I am." Remus said slowly, looking into her eyes. "What I am could kill you. What I am could disfigure you. At the very least, what I am would ruin any reputation you have Nymphadora. I'm not good for you, just as I'm not good to teach, or hold a steady job. I'm dangerous, horribly so. I care about you as well, but I will not put you through that and I'm not sorry. I am," the corner of his mouth rose just slightly, "too old for you as well. It's not right. I am also quite poor."

"It doesn't matter Remus. I've never been quite stuck to my reputation." Tonks smiled softly. "I've never much had a mind over age either."

"It does matter Tonks, it matters to me. If we did have a relationship that went beyond friends, sooner or later it would break you. Sooner or later, you would hate it. You would hate me. I won't have that. If you ever need me, need my help, I'll be there. That's all I can do. Goodnight Tonks." Tonks watched as he gathered his coat up and left, leaving behind just enough coin to cover his untouched food and drink.

**TBC**


End file.
